Live a Little…won’t you

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We are a society of whiners.

I know; I’m sorry; I’m an asshole.

But I’m saying it because nobody is saying it. All anyone is saying is how offended they are by this or that. Which is fine. Like, I get that there are passionate people, and I’m definitely one of those people, but it’s come to a point where it’s really freaking me out.

Seriously. Just three years ago I would joke about anything. Not necessarily me; I’m a really quiet person unless you’re really close to me (in which case you would say I’m the most-unquiet person ever)–but I would laugh at everything that was funny.

I don’t laugh anymore.

I don’t fucking laugh anymore. 

This entire society of You Have Offended Me On The Internet has changed me. I’m generally a passionately serious person, but this is getting ridiculous.

Take today, when the thought actually crossed my mind of walking out on my day job because I was so stressed out. Is that okay for me to do because I’m schizophrenic? Because stress triggers my symptoms and I did nothing but hallucinate for three hours last night and most of today (while working at a call center?). No. No it’s not okay. I have to deal with it. I have to deal with it like everyone else.

I got bills to fucking pay. I can’t be walking out on 7-year jobs and shit.

Other people, with schizophrenia or anxiety or autism or whatever might be all like, well I can do that because the government will pay my bills due to my disability.

Um, no. You will not walk out on your job because you have a mental illness. You will work for it just like everyone else. Everybody has shit. Your shit is your shit; my shit is my shit. 

Diversity. Be sensitive to what others have to deal with, but don’t make it yours. Deal with your own shit.

I don’t laugh at jokes about mental illnesses ever. Anything that is insensitive to the mentally ill in any way is not fucking funny to me. Why?

“If you can’t laugh at yourself, well fuck. Go die.” -Paper Souls

I make fun of myself all the time. We all do. We are hard on ourselves. We are harder on ourselves than we are anyone else. We say “I’m not a morning person so don’t fucking talk to me before my coffee” and then later we’re like “shit I was an asshole” and then we say oh well and we laugh. Or we apologize. Either way. We’re not perfect and we make fun of ourselves constantly.

Why is it suddenly okay for us to treat ourselves worse than we treat others?

I don’t laugh at anything anymore. The other day, someone made a connection with my excitement for the Mockingjay movie to Jennifer Lawrence’s nude photos and it was so fucking inappropriate that I won’t even repeat it here but it was also so fucking funny. Did I laugh? Nope. I got so pissed I walked away.

Today, one of my friends was moving slow and posted on Facebook ‘I took the short bus to work today’ and I was like ‘fuck that was insensitive’ and then I read it again and I changed my mind. I decided to LOL after all. Like, literally.

I make no references to myself being white and bumping Notorious B.I.G. on the way to work anymore because I have this friend who’s all white-privilege gun-ho all the time and I’m afraid I’ll get reamed. Well guess what. Where I work? There’s black privilege. Yeah. I don’t go off about it ever because you know what, whatever. I didn’t want to be in executive management anyway.

I have struck the R Word from my vocabulary.

I have LITERALLY cut myself off from every verbal outlet that makes life less stressful and more fun out of fear for who I will offend. My social life is conducted mainly online (hello, introverts), including my romantic relationship with my boyfriend (hello, long distance) so what I say is always there, it’s always permanent, ready to be taken the wrong way or way too seriously.

I’m insensitive. I’m an asshole. I’m human. 

Sorry.

Diversity exists. Be sensitive to what people go through, and move on to the things you’re passionate about. Don’t make his shit your shit.

Promote the things you love and not the things you hate. 

Could we live? Just a little? Really. Life is not that serious. You do some shit and you die. It happens.

“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.” -John Green

Everybody just chill the fuck out please.

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