Women Like It When You Do This…No I Don’t


I was very interested to read Maxim‘s ideal on The 18 Things Women Love Most About Sex until it began to contradict itself.

12.  Whispering

Loud, graphic sex talk can be fun, but impassioned whispers in your ear as he takes you really push women over the edge. Just make sure you don’t say something that ruins the mood, like, “You really look like your mom right now.”

13.  When a Man is Too Into It to Even Talk

This is just as good. If all he can manage are some serious grunts and moans, we know we’re doing the job.

I am annoyed by this kind of classification almost as much as when I come across a woman on Facebook sharing her ideal that a real man does… because women are not men; therefore, how do they know what a real man is or does?

6.     Foreplay. Lots of Foreplay

We put as much emphasis on the appetizer as we do on the entrée. Let us luxuriate in physical attention all over our bodies, and we’ll lavish that attention back (that’s right, you gotta give it away to get it). So get exploring.

The difference is that a woman wrote this article, so two points to Maxim for that. With that in mind, I’m not sure how we can get away with categorizing women as a single entity.

15.  A Hard, Fast Quickie

Remember when we said “foreplay?” Well, every once in a while, we can do without if it means we get an athletic, intense roll in the sack. Especially if we’re super-stressed out.

In a romantic relationship, I am not the talker. I think it’s a waste of time and emotional energy when “the talk” turns into “the fight”. Weren’t we just sitting having a lovely dinner? In this instance, I break the we need to talk stereotype that men place on their women.

I know a man who is the opposite. He likes to talk things out and is a very emotional human being. I know another man who, if he could get away with it, would never speak another word to another human being for the remainder of his existence. He also lets things go very easily; he appears to just not care about anything. I appear to care about everything, because I do.

In a sexual situation, I care even less for the talking. When a man starts whispering in my ear or asks me if I like that particular thing in that ridiculous voice; my god, I can’t stand that shit. Don’t talk to me. Let’s just do our thing.

Foreplay: I wouldn’t care if I never had to do it again; it is boring to me. There have been exceptions to this blanket statement in which case I really enjoyed it, but if I was asked, I’d say let’s skip it.

A hard, fast quickie? Fuck, no. I’m not sixteen. I realize that the ideal of a five-minute fuck-fest in the copy room is really sexy, but I’d much rather let that tension build and wait for enough time to release it in a satisfying way.

Some women like BDSM. I don’t. Others don’t.

The point I’m making is that women are not all the same. Neither are men. We cannot be classified with a label as all the other of our kind. A woman is not all I am, and I’m not necessarily like all the other ones.

I am a real person. I do my own thing.


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