Listen to Me Right Now: You Cannot Fucking Quit

rain

A respected author and long time friend announced yesterday that she was quitting writing. Another friend has said the same words countless times (though she is still around). There was a time in the not so distant past (as in, yesterday) that I believed that no one would notice if I disappeared let alone care.

Listen to me right now: You cannot fucking quit. 

Look, I realize what some of us do is not normal. Those of us who write memoirs or put our life’s truth into a novel or spread our life stories on blogs for everyone to see. There are more people than not in my life who are private people and do not wish for their real lives to be on any social avenue. I respect those wishes highly. I made a choice to dive face first into a world where everyone knows my name, my illness, and what my cat looks like. There are people that don’t like it (obviously). There are people that don’t like what I say or who I am. There are people that hate me for the mistakes I make and/or have made. For the things I have said. The things I have done.

Seriously, I couldn’t be farther from perfect if I woke up every morning trying to be an asshole.

Guess what? People are always going to hate you. 

Unless you say nothing and go nowhere and speak to no one ever, people are going to hate you. But if you are like me and you speak openly and freely, a lot of people are going to hate you. They are going to say mean things. They are going to wish that you didn’t exist. It is humanity; it is life. It is having flaws.

But you cannot fucking quit. If you quit writing, it becomes that much easier to quit everything, to quit life. Being strong and brave and independent and individualistic and being happy becomes that much harder, and quitting becomes that much easier. This is where the ideal of suicide and how common it is comes into play, and this is where it starts. Quitting something you love. If you quit something you love about life, you will soon begin to quit everything you love about life, and then life is not a thing you love anymore. If you hate it, if you hate it all, then why bother? It’s dangerous and I’m asking you not to do it. You are not alone and if you are, if you think that you are alone in this world, then you have no reason to quit anything (life) because if you were alone no one would hate you.

Life is fucking tough and people suck, but there are beautiful things and there are beautiful people. It’s just a matter of removing the shit things and the shit people and holding on to the beautiful ones. This rant/message/pep talk/public service announcement is as much for me as it is for you–trust me–and I’m here telling you that you can do this shit (with me). It is a curse to feel everything so much more intensely, but as horrible as life can be, think about how it feels to be happy when you’re that kind of person. To experience beauty and true love.

Sometimes you just have to tell the world to fuck off, but you don’t get to fuck off, because you are important to the world, because you exist.

Exist and then live. Be the change you want to see, and as it is to quit, it will be that much easier to thrive.

suicide

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