“The best thing a woman can have is her shit together.” -Unknown
“He is an amazing person. He’s just socially moronic.”
I don’t remember when I started noticing the endless wave of humans that have good intentions but can’t communicate worth a damn in society, but I imagine it started with my mother. She has very good intentions, but is seen as a crazy person on a grand scale (she is bipolar) because she is inept at the art of verbal communication.
In the age of social media, this is important. I have said it a thousand times: social media is not a closed conversation with your close friends who ‘get you’. Social media does not ‘get you’; social media does not understand what you’re saying without you having to say it and social media sure as hell doesn’t understand when you’re having a bad day. All it takes is the right person to see you mouthing off in an inappropriate way, click once, and the whole world is informed of your assholery. You might not even be an asshole. You might actually be having a bad day or you might make a joke that would be really funny at a coffee shop at two in the morning with your friends, but nine times out of ten, that Helen Keller joke ain’t fucking funny on Twitter. It’s just not.
There is a way to communicate with people on social media and even in the real world and it is through clarity, honesty, and respect. Make sure what you’re saying is actually, to everyone else, what you’re saying. Be honest. Be clear. Don’t sugar coat shit. Stop commenting on a serious post with a joke because the subject matter makes you uncomfortable. You’re not that funny, trust me. Don’t take everything so personally. Stop taking your bullshit out on other people, asking them to empathize with you by not doing certain things to piss you off. I am empathetic to everything that human beings have been through, but it’s really not my problem if you’re having a bad day or if you are self-conscious about yourself and you therefore are unable to say what you mean. I’m not here to babysit you and your social problems. I am not your mother.
Look, dude. I’m schizophrenic. I have paranoid schizophrenia and I am more social than anyone I know. I mean, sure, I hang out by myself a lot because I enjoy it, but when I am out in the world, I talk to people. I ask them about their lives. I befriend them. I don’t go around crying because my mental illness causes me paranoia and trust issues. That’s my problem, not anyone else’s. They shouldn’t have to prove their worth to me. If I want to trust them, that’s my responsibility to make that call. As soon as you have to start proving your worth to someone is the day that you are either fucked, they are fucked, or you are both fucked. Personality flaws are not excuses. Unless you’re perfect (yeah, right), you never stop changing and growing as a human being. And if you have fallen back on some ideal to excuse you for being a social moron or anything else that is unacceptable in society, then why are you here?
I can speak for a lot of people when I say we are over these socially inept products of human beings we respect. We forgive you because you are our friends, but our patience runs thinner every time you insult us because you said something you didn’t mean or when you lash out at us for no fucking reason because you didn’t get your coffee this morning. What about the rest of the world? They don’t know you. They don’t give a shit what you’re going through; their outlook is that if you treat them badly you are an asshole. Don’t treat people badly. Don’t be an asshole.
Get your shit together.