You are not Allowed to Make Mistakes

Nolan is here. From the day I taught him an important part of the job – even though he makes about six times as much as I do – he has always been kind to me. The last time I saw him he brought me donuts and oreos. He’s sad we don’t get to see each o ther as often.

“It’s so quiet over here,” he whispers.

I laugh. “Yeah. It takes some getting used to, that’s for sure.”

“I feel like you can hear my thoughts.”

Myra comes over. She makes about three-hundred-thousand-dollars a year and she is intrinsically perfect. She has never tripped on a heel or slipped up. She runs this bitch and she runs it well. They talk for a while about kindergarten graduations and endless strings of e-mails. Their voices are hushed and the tense silence bounces around the walls like a force field. I’m on my phone, of course; my sanity lives in there. A notification from Pandora comes up and I slide my finger to the left, aiming to delete the notification, but instead I click on it.

Shitfuckassmotherfucker. It’s going to play.

I stare at my phone, waiting for it to come up, and as promised…

I PROMISE TO LOVE YOU A THOUSAND TIMES

Ohfuck. It’s so loud. So loud.

I press the pause button and get rid of it. “Sorry,” I half giggle, and that look she gives me is like the one she gave me at that baby shower I ran into her at that one time. My heart beats so fast and hard that I swear my chest has a giant hole now, as if my chest is giant to begin with, or my heart is. Darkness rains in over the artificial light and the walls threaten to come alive.

That look. It’s going to fucking haunt me.

_MG_1305A Bestselling Author, NPO VP, and Psychology Today Blogger from Burbank, California, Allie Burke writes books she can’t find in the bookstore. Having been recognized as writing a “kickass book that defies the genre it’s in”, Allie writes with a prose that has been labeled poetic and ethereal.

Her life is a beautiful disaster, flowered with the harrowing existence of inherited eccentricity, a murderous family history, a faithful literature addiction, and the intricate darkness of true love. These are the enchanting experiences that inspire Allie’s fairytales.

From some coffee shop in Los Angeles, she is working on her next novel.
Visit Allie at http://wordsbyallieburke.com

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