Why I Stopped Calling Myself an Author a Long Time Ago

Every time I blog raw truth, I get the most supporting comments. This is probably not going to be one of those times.

On my mind today: the link between writers and narcissism. I’m connected with a lot of assholes, and I’m not exactly sure how that happened.
-Allie Burke on Facebook

There are an influx of articles on this matter, between the HuffPost article from that Very Important Person, the Guardian article about the woman who physically stalked a book blogger for giving her a negative review, and a thousand more, probably,  but I am a blogger, and it is therefore my responsibility to tell you about assholes in case you are not aware there are assholes or in case you are not aware that you are an asshole.

This one is for the author – never having made the New York Times or USA Today – who goes around telling other authors, in an oh so condescending manner, how to be successful authors.

For the author who sends me excerpts of the book they are working on without asking me first if I’d like to read it.

For the author that goes around saying authors overreact to things like pirating and content modification. Because it’s totally not even a big deal to steal another human being’s work and then change it, right?

For this fucking asshole whom I blocked yesterday:

Screenshot_2015-08-13-19-16-52 (1)

This is for the numerous people who tag me in the arguments they are losing because they know I can win it for them.

I have one thing to say to all of you assholes and that is that I am not even an author and I cannot make you rich and famous so please leave me alone. I am only a person who blogs about schizophrenia and has written a few novels and no I will not read your shit or share your shit or argue your shit if you don’t even have the common courtesy to ask me first. I would like all of these people to know that I have never done anything but offer kindness and support through our community which was once beautiful and is now assholey, and I don’t want to be friends with you, and I definitely don’t want to be your fellow author because I don’t want to be associated with the disrespect you bring to the community.

Amazon makes it very easy to be an author these days, which I think is amazing, because there are some talented writers out there who deserve exposure, but with that comes the responsibility of being respectful to the other humans who also deserve to have their work read, and I really don’t know who you fuckers think you are, treating me like shit. I could blame it on the fact that you all write literary fiction, but I write literary fiction, and I’m not an asshole, so.

There are a lot of young people who read and they look to you as a role model. You took that on when you decided to write books. Please teach our society that kindness always wins. We need that more than we need your books.


A Bestselling Author, NPO VP, and Psychology Today Blogger from Burbank, California, Allie Burke writes books she can’t find in the bookstore. Having been recognized as writing a “kickass book that defies the genre it’s in”, Allie writes with a prose that has been labeled poetic and ethereal.

Her life is a beautiful disaster, flowered with the harrowing existence of inherited eccentricity, a murderous family history, a faithful literature addiction, and the intricate darkness of true love. These are the enchanting experiences that inspire Allie’s fairytales.

From some coffee shop in Los Angeles, she is working on her next novel.


4 thoughts on “Why I Stopped Calling Myself an Author a Long Time Ago”

  1. I stopped using the word ‘asshole’ a few years back as my 18 month-old daughter started using it in HER repertoire. I forgot what a wonderfully cathartic feel it gives one….thanks for ‘how you really feel’.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like to think I am an asshole’s asshole, of sorts. I allow my asshole to rage upon others who are clearly assholes in order to shield those who are not.


    Excellent article. I have yet to call myself ‘author’ despite a third novel rolling out. I avoid the word mostly out of lacking confidence, not principle. If I DO eventually get any principles, hopefully my asshole will intercept them on my behalf.


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