She followed me with bravery in her heart,
Without realizing my lack of interest.
The deformed web of thoughts in her mind
Obscured her understanding of,
Politeness and Reality.

She loved me with red logic,
My name is now carved into her wrist.
She’s lucky there are only four letters:
JACK

I offered her my friendship,
But it wasn’t enough.
Any attention I gave her was morphed
Into a shred of hope that I would
Change my mind,
Wanting to be with her he way she wanted.

An impossibility for me.

She said we were destined to be
Together forever in
Nirvana.
She said she wanted to marry me…
She bent down before me on one knee to propose,
And gave me a tiny polymer clay doll.
It had thick eyelashes, and was quite ugly.

I can never be in her life,
Because she is a sick person,
And I don’t need this drama.
She needs to pick herself up and
Leave me the hell alone.
She’s dangerous.
She rang my doorbell unannounced,
Three times.

We were scared, my roommate and I.
Who knows what the hell else she can do.
I just sent her an email to never talk to me again,
Never to contact me in any way.

Her response has been silence,
And I hope it stays that way.
Forever.

Neesa Suncheuri works as a mental health peer specialist at a housing agency in Queens, New York.  She is the founder of a Facebook discussion group for peer specialists and other recovery enthusiasts, entitled “What is Wellness?  A Mental Health Discussion Group.”  Much of her creative inspiration is rooted in her now-tamed schizophrenia.  She is a singer/songwriter, and performs in various venues in the city.  She writes poetry, maintains a blog and is currently working on a memoir.  Follow her on Twitter at @aquariumspeaks.