WORLD POETRY DAY: 3 Vignettes on the Contemplation of Purpose

by Neesa Suncheuri

1

I carry the world on my shoulders
Like the backpack of a diligent
Child.
But it is heavy, and I
Practically buckle underneath it.
But not quite…
That final straw has not touched my back,
Nor will it ever.

I carry the world, because
I want to save it.
I want to bring happiness to the people
On it.
I want to reduce the suffering of the people
On it.

And yet I am buckled with this weight.
I am stooped so low,
I can only see the floor.
I can’t go forward, because
I don’t know which way is
The right way…

This slouch…
It defines me.
It molds me into
All of the things that a slouch implies:

Underconfidence

Fear

Submission

Depression

Insignificance…

How could I ever change the
World if I am
Comprised of these
Inadequacies?

2

I am a workaholic.
A diligent ant.
Focused and productive,
Without ceasing.

But for what?

Is work more important
Than life?
Only for Humans.
For I am a mere ant.
I only see my challenges.
My tasks.
My job, where I push papers,
Answer phone calls and
Appease a boss…
She, the Queen, the CEO of this hive…
She commands my actions,
She erases my questions and
She dictates my goals and
My dreams.

Yet I am happy,
Because it is safe here.
I fit in,
And I belong to this
Corporate colony.
I know where I belong.

And if ever I stopped working,
My life would have no purpose.
My bond to the nest
would sever,
And I would have no commands,
No food,
No shelter,
No purpose,
No reason to live.

Indeed… if I lost my job…

I would die.

3

I love my husband,
But I love my dreams too.
I used to wish on stars that I
Would teach children,
Or be a nurse…
I still want my wishes to come true,
But my husband thinks
He alone is my dream.

Women flirt.
Women smile.
Women serve…

And men accomplish.
Men have goals.
Men drive the world.

My dream is now to
Forget my dreams,
To forget the stars
I once knew intimately.
For now, my intimacy
Is with my husband.

He is my guiding light.

neesas1

Neesa Suncheuri
Staff Writer – Poetry

Neesa Suncheuri works as a mental health peer specialist at a housing agency in Queens, New York.  She is the founder of a Facebook discussion group for peer specialists and other recovery enthusiasts, entitled “What is Wellness?  A Mental Health Discussion Group.”  Much of her creative inspiration is rooted in her now-tamed schizophrenia.  She writes poetry and fiction, and maintains a blog called Unlearning Schizophrenia.  She is also a singer/songwriter, and an enthusiast for the German language and culture.  Follow her on Twitter at @neesasuncheuri.

 

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2 thoughts on “WORLD POETRY DAY: 3 Vignettes on the Contemplation of Purpose”

  1. Relating to 1 & 2 – 1 – the necessity of friends and fellow travelers to share the load — 2 been there and lost several jobs, and didn’t die, but, yes, that scary. #3 is sad — good poems – thanks

    Like

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