by Neesa Suncheuri
I live in a hole the ground.
It is my beloved place of refuge.
Always, it is safer to stay within the earth,
Protected by its mass,
Than ever it is to emerge outside naked,
Into that evil world.
The top of this hole, its opening rim,
Is an inarticulate mouth in the grass.
But if a mouth so large does not speak…
Then why should little I?
The light of the sun affects me sometimes.
When I feel it, I retreat deeper into the soil.
Sometimes, I munch upon a pleasant biscuit of…
I know not what it is called.
But it is flora…What I’m supposed to eat.
It’s everywhere around me,
And I can’t avoid this food.
Choice and freedom are not for me,
That is not for those of my kind.
I have no muscle in my body to
Stand for what I believe in.
My past has taught me where my place is on Earth…
Yet I have no memories.
Neesa Suncheuri works as a mental health peer specialist at a housing agency in Queens, New York. She is the founder of a Facebook discussion group for peer specialists and other recovery enthusiasts, entitled “What is Wellness? A Mental Health Discussion Group.” Much of her creative inspiration is rooted in her now-tamed schizophrenia. She writes poetry and fiction, and maintains a blog called Unlearning Schizophrenia. She is also a singer/songwriter, and an enthusiast for the German language and culture. Follow her on Twitter at @neesasuncheuri.