Blind, But Not Forgotten

by Neesa Suncheuri

A mere hint of image once, I saw
Color amongst dark spots,
Abstract design ‘until identified by
Common sense, but my Confusion
Reappeared as my sight left me.

When darkness was almost complete,
My cousin slapped his hand across my face:
“You don’t see because you’re blind!”
My silent response was blindness of sound.
I did not tell him I still saw a bit, unlike now.

It was every day, I saw less and less.
Everything faded from my life.
My impatient friends abandoned me.
My desire for social popularity left me.
The world as I saw it ended.

Why is my current world more limited?
Instead of interaction, I merely contemplate.
A final wall separates me from
Idiocies I always wanted to escape.
Darkness is opportunity

I listen when I care to.  Only then.
I hear lies from truth, near from far,
My memory is impeccable.
These skills, misplaced, unappreciated?
Extraordinarily useless?

Science could one day restore my sight, but
I like my powers.  Don’t take them away,
Nor laugh or disparage.
I am complete and wise.
Could you walk in my shoes?

Woe unto you who tell secrets near me.
I hear you, no obligation to stay mum.
I am not a child.  I understand everything.
Your hidden feelings speak, I
Cannot see your face to deceive me.

When you close your eyes, you might see
What I see, understand what I know,
Unlearn attachments to your externals.
See my world as I once did yours.
Abandon your fears of loss.

I wonder about death.
What will I see?  Light?  The color white?
Does everyone see the same thing?
Will my sight return?
Or evolve?

I can become color itself.
Prismic concepts, dimensions,
Visual songs sung of crystalline beauty, powers of
Perception, freedom to perceive,
I, Color, bringing joy to all who see.

I have no resentments.

Neesa Suncheuri works as a mental health peer specialist at a housing agency in Queens, New York.  She is the founder of a Facebook discussion group for peer specialists and other recovery enthusiasts, entitled “What is Wellness?  A Mental Health Discussion Group.”  Much of her creative inspiration is rooted in her now-tamed schizophrenia.  She is a singer/songwriter, and performs in various venues in the city.  She writes poetry, maintains a blog and is currently working on a memoir.  Follow her on Twitter at @aquariumspeaks.

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